Holidays 2023

Sleigh Bells Ring Are You Listening…

You also have a cat trying to eat a recently gifted Poinsettia plant, an unexpected guest during a pollyanna and a toddler that doesn’t belong to you, a diaper deep in your chocolate and wine stache. 

It’s the Holiday Season and we, the volunteer staff at the  Parkside Newsletter, want it to be a safe, happy and successful one, so we’re going to give you a few helpful tips. 

🎄 The Almanac is calling for a harsh Pennsylvania winter so prep your car, have an emergency kit in there complete with flares and battery cables (or a jump box).

🎄 Did we mention the Almanac (they’re never wrong, they are like farm witches), so make sure that you have an emergency kit of another sort with batteries, candles, games and water. Dust the cobwebs off those generators and do a test run. Check those smoke detectors.

🎄 Buy a couple of generic gifts. Trust me on this. A couple of board games or kitschy things (I recommend the knitted, bearded cap) on standby will save you loads of embarrassment. 

🎄 Extra tape, wrapping paper, bows and tags are a must. They’ll keep so when you see a deal, splurge.

🎄 The gifts you get. This is a tough one, some are poisonous to your pets, some will make you fat, some are straight up crap. Be gracious. The twice weekly trash pick up offered by Parkside is your friend.

🎄 Football and by this I mean Cowboys’ fans. Yes, we all have those family skeletons and they are annoying and stupid and awful but lynch mobs are not the answer. Just glorify in the fact they are losers who will never see the Superbowl this season.

🎄 Cookies. January is for diets. Eat those cookies. Santa wants you to.

🎄 Christmas lights. We, your neighbors, are judging you. Go big or go home and by home, we mean the shed in your backyard. Think of it as a penalty box.

🎄 Family politics. I cannot help you here. I suggest hiding, even during the mandatory wellness check, until the holidays are over.

🎄 Donate when you can. People are going without during this time and they are members of our tribe. There are so many ways. This is good for them and great for the soul. 

🎄 Joy. Now, this is the best one. Stop and listen to those carols, wave to those neighbors, enjoy those twinkling lights. Be joyful and share it, as neighbors should. 

And have yourself a Merry, Little Holiday.